The Great Minnesota Get Together

Minnesota is known for many things. Among it's more famous things are Prince, Garrison Keillor, The Walker Art Center, having 10,000 lakes, the coldest inhabited city in the upper 48, and food on a stick. I'm not sure which is more famous, but the food on a stick is certainly the highlight of the year for many people. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the Minnesota State Fair. The fair, other wise known as the Great Minnesota Get Together, is the largest state fair in the country. That's right, in a place that's generally known to have two seasons: winter and road construction, we have a state fair that attracts hundreds of thousands of people for a 10 day period to the state fair grounds (which is actually a permanent structure, actually city, in St. Paul). When I say hundreds of thousands of people, that is no exaggeration or as Mia says 'for real life'. This year on the first day alone there were 114,439 people there. But that was just a warm up. The day we went there were 191,071 and I think they were all there at the same time

This picture doesn't do it justice, but it gives you an idea of what one street was like.

The real fun of the fair is that everything you eat is either bigger then your head or on a stick or both. Take the meatball on a stick for an example. That's right. A meatball dinner that's deep fried and put on a stick. Or how about the About a Foot Long Hot Dog.

Mia had no problems with this. Some of the other things that are draws are Pig Lickers. In case you can't guess what that is, it's chocolate covered bacon. Yum. Wait, I'm vegetarian. There's Big Fat Bacon. That's 1/2 pound of bacon, and you guessed it, on a stick. There's the deep fried candy bars. I didn't have one, but I would imagine one would want to save that until everything else had been tried. After all, I would guess that's a quick trip to the hospital with all the fat, calories, cholesterol and such . . . help, I'm coding. There's the deep fried fruit, key lime pie, and pork chop - all on a stick.

Mia tried the cotton candy

And finished it!


Our menu consisted of french fries

Corn Dog, Catfish sandwich, root beer, key lime pie, custard cone, and Sweet Martha's Cookies. First the Corn Dog. There's a war at the fair between the corn dog and the pronto pup. I'm not sure what other fairs have, but in these here parts, it's a little like the good ole' family war between the two camps. The one camp, we'll call them Corn Dog Clampetts, likes their dogs fried with a corn batter. The other, we'll call them Pronto Pup Bodines, like their dogs fried with wheat batter. The two don't see eye to eye, are likely to call each other names on the street, and will most diffinatley do bad things with the sticks that are left after consuming the dogs in one big bite. I myself am part of the Clampetts camp and after this year so are Mia and Andrea, for if they weren't, well let's just say there would be a fight a brewin'.

Then there's Sweet Martha's Cookies. These cookies have been around for years and each year the lines keep growing and growing. They have two stands at the fair with 10 lines at each. This year we waited 30 minutes in line to get these cookies. By the time we were at the front of the line, we had no choice but to get the bucket, which is about 4 dozen cookies, and costs 14 dollars.

Which brings me to the next point: money. The state fair is not for the faint of heart or wallet. Not only is this an event that invites one of the seven deadly sins, glutony, it invites poverty. Just to get in to the fair is 11 dollars for every man, woman, and child over the age of 5. Once there, you gotta eat. In order to eat, you have to pony up at least 4 dollars a meal, but more likely 6 dollars. So, let's say you and your sweetheart want to try to the dog wars; that's 8 dollars please. How about a lemonade; that's 3 or 6 depending on where you buy it. Let's say you want a sandwich . . . 6 dollars please. The point being that unless you have money in the bank and a retirement plan in place, be careful. Now that Mia is eating all of our food and her own, she can no longer attend college. If you would like to help her out, please visit www.HelpMiaAttendCollegeBecauseHerParentsSpentAllTheirSavingsToSuckDownLemonadeAndCookies.com

The other part of the fair is that of the games. I've never been a real game person. I figured that winning is next to impossible and quite frankly I've never really been good at throwing, shooting, or darts. However, that is not the case with Mia. She won two prizes by fishing.

Of course, everyone's a winner, but don't tell her that.

And then there's Marc 'they don't call me water shooter champion for nothing' Scharlatt, otherwise known as Grampy. Apparently the game that you shoot water and blow up a balloon is his game. He doesn't loose and has been banned in 47 states due to his crazy skills. So this year he thought he would try Minnesota and win some prizes for Mia.


Just look at that determination. Just look at that concentration. Just look at that balloon that's still inflated. Oops. The first round was just a warm-up. Next round. Same determination. Same fixed gaze. Same inflated balloon. Oops. Next round. Same. Next round. Same. We love Grampy and he gave it 110 percent. But Minnesota had the fix in and he left with nothing but a card for a good therapist. I should mention that Andrea, sitting next to him, has a similar stare, similar concentration, similar results.

All in all a great day, a great fair, and a really great, big belly ache.