One eye open

I write this entry with one eye closed in pain due to the throbbing ache that has taken over the right side of my brain. However, on the plus side, the r seems to be working again. I guess the continual pounding of my left index finger has obliterated any piece of food that was there and has sent the remains to be scattered throughout my hard drive.

The pain in my head is due to a number of things. The first and most likely chief reason is that Jonah is sick/teething/fussy and as a result is not sleeping. It's hard for me to say he's not sleeping as he never really sleeps. So on a sliding scale he has begun to sleep less. Just imagine that before he slept about the same as a great white shark or a giraffe (which is really not much at all, maybe 15 minutes at time), but for the last two nights, and especially last night, he has slept about as much as an insomniac going though a manic phase who has taken far more Nodoz then recommended and chased it with coffee. The upside is that Andrea and I get to spend more time together; the down side is that we ache. I really shouldn't say much as Andrea gets stuck doing most of the work. After all she has breasts and I, well, really don't.

Poor Jonah really is sick, however. He has his first cold. He's handling it well though, at least during the day. During the day he is just sick with a running nose. You know the kind . . . the kind that makes everyone else, including those who no longer have young children and can't remember what it's like let to see snot and pooh, wince when they see you at the counter trying to pay for your groceries and needing to wipe his nose with your fingers and then get your money out of your wallet. And of course you can only use the same hand that you just used to wipe his nose because the other hand is busy holding the baby. And while this may seem like common sense, in the heat of the moment I actually have to remind myself that if I use both hands gravity will take over and suck Jonah down to the ground with the power of Dyson. The problem now is that no one wants to take my money and instead ask me to put the money in the till for them, which I do. As I leave I see the same people taking bleach and wiping down everything that I may or may not have come in contact with. I haven't noticed yet if they are also calling infection control or the state epidemiologist, but I'm sure that's not far off.

We also think Jonah is teething. But don't put much stock in this as we thought that everything that was ever wrong with Mia was a result of her teething. It's sort of like the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding and his Windex. Mia's got a running nose, then she must be teething. She's got an ear ache, then she must be teething. She's not willing to eat her veg, but will eat her dessert, then she must be teething. So we will see with Jonah, but I'm sure it will be the same.

The other chief reason for the head ache is Mia. Yesterday she watched Dennis the Menace. I'm not sure if you've seen this movie, but it's not like the cartoon. Sure Dennis bothers Mr. Wilson, and those parts are a lot of fun. But then enter a thief. I don't remember a scary thief in the comic, but wow this was. Christopher Lloyd played a deranged and very scary thief. I really like him and think he's a lot of fun, but not for kids. The end result was that Mia was scared out of her mind. She tends to be a bit sensitive, too. After all she was scared by Alvin and the Chipmunks. Although I suppose she should have been given that she was watching three chipmunks talk and sing. At any rate, she was up last night and was afraid of robbers. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this as she told me that she was going to be up and expected me to sleep with her. Which brings me to another point: she's a nightmare to sleep with. The closest I can come to describing what it's like to sleep with Mia is to have you imagine you are stuck in the Amazon (as in river, not online store which might be more akin to the Matrix) and a crocodile has grabbed you. The next thing you know you are in a death roll. This is what it's like to be in bed with Mia. Sure she's innocent enough and lures you to her bed by saying how scared she is. Sure it's nice when you lay down, after all you just woke up from a sound sleep and dreaming of winning the lottery and it's 4 in the morning. Sure she snuggles at first and pretends to sleep. But soon that's over and she says she can't sleep. The next thing you know she has started the death roll. She spins, thwacks you in the face, continues to spin, is on top of you. This is where you have to be careful. You try to move her away and that's it. It's over. She now will not sleep again and has also guaranteed that you will not sleep either. She continues to not be able to get comfortable. At this point the roll is just for fun and really at your expense, sort of 'see how much power I hav?' When you do get up in the morning after having not slept for the last gazillion hours, she then sleeps having felt fulfilled or more aptly, full. She then wakes up rested and ready to go. I ask her if she remembers not being able to sleep. Her response: really, I thought I slept well (this with a smile of 'see you again tonight').

This is what I look like after having slept with Mia in the Amazon

Sure, he looks all sweet now


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